August 30, 2010

Unbelievable...

This morning my high risk doctor, Dr. Z, came by to do a sonogram to see if we could figure out the reason for the bleeding that brought me back here, and to see if there are any changes.

I'm still in shock at the results, but what he found is that my TAC (abdominal cerclage) has actually broken. This was not at all supposed to be in the realm of possibility. In all the researching I've ever done, or in the stats from my dr in Chicago who put it in, has there been one break. I'm not 100% convinced that it actually 'snapped', but wondering if somehow the knot in it came loose. According to my Dr. Z a few weeks ago, a TAC is such a strong band that he "could swing from it." So either I have sons that are the strongest little boys in the world (their daddy is superman afterall), it was faulty (which I can hardly believe could be the case either), or I'm just destined, no matter what, to have an incompetent cervix.

As of right now, Will's bag of water is starting to bulge down into my cervix from the uterus. My cervix at the moment is still closed and 32mm long (down from 48mm last Tuesday). That is good. But I have been having bleeding (Dr. Z thinks from the changing cervix) and bouts of contractions about once a day since I've been here. They have been able to be stopped by terbutaline shots so far. For some reason, even though my cervix didn't hold with Jonathan, right now, even with 2 babies pushing on it (minus the cerclage) it is still holding. (I'm thinking it is God!!)

Even though at the moment, all is still good, it has been a very tough morning with the similarities of what is seeming to unfold. The doctor's keep pointing out that this is completely different...and in most ways it is. Today I am 28w4d, very much past the viability point. However, what scares me is that if my water breaks, I don't want to relive what happened with Jonathan...waiting to try to let him grow more, and compressing his cord. Dr. Z said at first that even if my water were to break today, we would try to keep them in as long as possible to let them grow. As much as I want them to grow inside of me, I just couldn't sit there and hope that it all doesn't happen again. I would much rather have them, if/when my water breaks, to be taken out and cared for 24/7 in the NICU. As much as I don't want them to have to have any struggles or undue suffering, I want them to live. I want them both to live...even if they have to be in the NICU for awhile. The dr. on call today who would deliver if something should progress today, is on board and completely understands where I'm coming from. Water breaks=baby time.

Today their estimated weights are 3.2 (Jack) and 2.13 (Will). So Dr. Z is pleased that they are good sized babies. I'm so glad that they have been able to stay inside growing for this long, and I pray that they will just stay put and continue with it. We learned that for every 24 hours inside, it is 48 hours less time that they have to be in the NICU. So the longer the better, but I just want them to be okay.

PLEASE continue to pray for all of us, that God would keep protecting our baby boys. He is still doing miracles, and I'm trusting Him and resting in Him for this situation as well. It's just so scary.

And to all those who have TACs or are getting TACs soon, don't fear. I still think the TAC is the greatest thing in the world for people who have IC. Without it, we wouldn't have gotten this far in this pregnancy. So it really hasn't failed at all. I'm going to be contacting Dr. Haney, to see if we can get to the bottom of what happened. If there has to be one to fail at some point, I guess I've taken it so all of your's can go on without any problems at all.

And also, for all my wonderful friends that want to come visit me in the hospital, I think would appreciate a raincheck until a little bit later. Feel free to call me, email me, or text, and I'll answer/respond when I can, but I just want to be as calm, still, and mellow as possible, at least to get us through another week or two! I'll do my best to update on here as much as possible, just so you can know how to pray. I'm sure Justin will keep his facebook updated as well.

I love you all so much, and your love and prayers mean the world to me...truly.

23 comments:

Trisha said...

Oh, hun, I'm SOOOO sorry!!! I hope you can keep them cooking for a long time still, and I hope you get some answers from Dr. Haney about the TAC, I think your post title "unbelievable" sums it all up. ((((HUGS)))) Praying for peace and calm for you, momma!

Anonymous said...

Alyson, know that you are being prayed for. Don't know if you remember me, but we used to be on the "coffee team" at Hope. Praying that the peace of God that passes all understanding guard both you and Justin's heart.
Blessings, Alida MacKenzie

Krista said...

praying for you...

Ronni said...

Oh Alyson, what a roller coaster you have been on/are still on. I am praying for you harder than I've ever prayed before - God will come through!

Amanda said...

Praying, praying for you and your little guys! I hope Dr. Haney has some suggestions. Maybe a rescue TVC for the time being, or maybe even a rescue TAC? (In our preliminary TAC research, I did read about one late placement in the case of a rescue, although I can't remember if it was placed as far along as you are or not.) Maybe Dr. Haney would fly in to place it or maybe Dr. Trimmer at Medical City (or another doctor with experience) would place a rescue TAC.

Praying God's peace for you as you wait...

Riley Kai said...

Praying for peace, wisdom, and time!

Jodi said...

Praying for you Hon!!! Love y'all!!

Audra said...

Dad'Gum! That stinks!!! Praise God that your cervix is doing what it's supposed to do. I completely agree about the water breaks=baby time plan, I could never wait and wonder. Praise God for good doctors and hospitals. We will be praying so hard for you and Justin and your sweet boys. They are bigger than lots of twins I have heard about that have been closer to their due date, that's great! Lots of prayers and love, Audra

Taryn said...

I'm praying too

Anonymous said...

Alyson,
Praying for you, Justin and the twin boys. Keep your chip up and thoughts positive!
God Bless,
Tressa

Anonymous said...

I am here for you, whatever you need. I will pray , pray, pray. Stay calm and rest. I know you can do it... I will pray for it. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Much love coming your way.
Brenda

Anonymous said...

Been lurking here for a little while and thought you might appreciate a little lift, found this article a few days ago. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1306283/Miracle-premature-baby-declared-dead-doctors-revived-mothers-touch.html

Anonymous said...

Been lurking here for a little while and thought you might appreciate a little lift, found this article a few days ago. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1306283/Miracle-premature-baby-declared-dead-doctors-revived-mothers-touch.html

The Toole Family said...

We are thinking of you... Keep just relaxing and watching cheesy tv....
Love, Patrick, Shawn, Carter and Abby

Michelle Harmon said...

You are so right! Unbelievable! I can't believe that your cervix of steel broke! That's just crazy. I Love you so very much and I am praying incessantly for you and Will and Jack and Justin. BIG HUGS!!!!

Marie W said...

Alyson I am so sorry to hear this! I am keeping you, Will and Jack daily in prayers. We serve a God that is able to do exceeding, abundantly, above all we can ask or think. He is already performing miracles and I am confident that he will continue to do so. Praying for your peace of mind as well as Justin's!

Kelly said...

Alyson & Justin, I'm so sorry that you're both having to go through this. Praying that your water doesn't break and that Will & Jack stay put for now. Thinking of you all xo

AROSS said...

Alyson,
I'm praying for you every day! Lots of prayers are going up for you all!!

Amy Hinman said...

Although I have never met you, I have been praying for you for the longest time. A friend of mine knows you and has shared your story with me. Know that I am praying God's hand of protection over you and your boys. I pray that both of the babies are born when God says it's time and that they are both healthy and strong. You are such a strong, brave woman. God bless!

~Amy Hinman

Aubrey and Jen said...

Alyson,

We are praying & believing w/ you guys!!!

Philippians 4:6&7

I John 4:18&19

Joy said...

Alyson, what a well-written post!!! We know that God has good things in store....Every time I start to worry, God brings Jeremiah 29:11 back to my remembrance. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride too, and I'm not even there! :-)

But Will and Jack are true miracle babies, and we can't wait to meet them and watch them grow and become healthy, strong, and wonderful men of God!

Just think: in 7 years, Ryley will be 14, and her cousins Will and Jack will be ornery, adorable, precocious, amazing 7-year-olds starting 2nd grade...and this roller coaster ride of anxiety and miracles will all be a distant memory and testimony to God's faithfulness.

Love you!!!

Suz said...

Oh girl, I just wish I could hug you! Everything is going to be ok!!! Your boys are so big and God is going to take care of you and those sweet boys! I pray that he keeps them snug in there until His perfect timing!!! Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!!! XOXO

DaisyJo said...

Dear Alyson,
I'm praying for you! I stumbled across your blog Via Sherry M.'s blog. She's my cousin too, (well, first cousin once removed)--so that means were family, right?

<3

Joanna