November 25, 2009

I wish we were celebrating...


Today is kind of a hard day. I don't want it to be, but I can't help but remember that this was supposed to be the first birthday for our sweet boy. Jonathan Paul was supposed to be born on November 25, 2008--our Thanksgiving baby. While that didn't happen, and he went to heaven almost 4 months before that date, I still think about what would have been, what should have been.


It is weird how in my head, Jonathan almost has two ages. I think about how old he would be if he had lived from the day he was actually born, but I also think about how old he should have been if everything had happened like we were planning. We celebrate his birthday on July 31, but I wish that today was a day that we were having all of our family and friends over to celebrate a big 1st birthday party. Oh, if only...


But despite all this, I'm thankful that God is holding our boy close in His arms, and our sweet boy's entire life is a celebration in Heaven! I can't wait until someday we get to join that party!

7 comments:

Steven said...

I love you Aly and Justin and share your loss, Dad.

Riley Kai said...

Praying for peace for you during this holiday! You are an amazing woman:-)

Marie W said...

I think of two dates as well, so I know exactly how you feel. Thinking of you and Justin today. {hugs}

Leading Lady said...

Thinking of you today...love you!
Bess

Kelly said...

Thinking of you both and of your precious Jonathan xo

I completely get how you feel with the two dates...I am exactly the same. I sometimes think in terms of the age our boys would have been if they'd lived when they were actually born, but other times I think of how old they would be if they'd been born on their due date...

Giggles said...

Having lost a son at 5.5 months, I too think of two dates. We lost our son 4 days before Christmas and he was due around the beginning of April. Had he lived he would be two years old next month. Praying for you and your family.

Audra said...

I was praying for you, just could get a chance to tell you. Well, I guess it would be correct to say that I was praying for you especially that day. Love you!