Today one year ago, my water broke much too early. My sweet boy lived 5 more days here on earth, before he woke up in Heaven. It is so unreal that a year has passed. I went back and ready my July/August 2008 posts, I was prepared for buckets of tears to start flowing. But do you know what? Instead of buckets (there were still a few), I was reminded of how incredibly faithful God has been to me. God held me through every agonizing moment that we endured last year. His word spoke such amazing truths of His presence, His love, His ability to make all things new. I was reminded of the incredible family members, friends, and even strangers who supported us through some of the darkest days of our lives...and are still supporting us today. I was reminded of what a strong man my husband was in those days, and how thankful I am that I get to share my life with him!
God is so good. Through everything I've faced that has not lined up with "my plan", I can honestly say that "His plan" is better. Even though I still have days where I feel like I'm in a valley, so far away from my close "mountain-top" relationship with Him, I know and trust that He is there--loving me, carrying me, and waiting to reveal to me the awesome plan He has for me! I feel so lucky, so blessed, that I was chosen to be His daughter.
This week will be hard, I know that, but I've decided to spend my week praising God, thanking Him for the abundant blessings He has given me. I'm going to celebrate my son this week, with a joyful heart. And even though, more than anything, I wish I was planning a big birthday party with a cake and a very sticky baby, I will hope that just maybe, there are birthday cakes in Heaven too! =)