April 5, 2009


Last night we had lifegroup, and the topic of the night was "trials". Boy, it seems like I have a lot of experience in that over the last few years. From a pretty trial-free life growing up, I feel like it is now so easy to think about and give examples of all the hard things that have happened in my life. But I was reminded, again, that there are so many people going through so many different trials. Since we lost Jonathan, I have found out about SO many more people who have gone through struggles with infertility, miscarriages, stillbirths, illnesses in their babies after birth, and at times it can be almost overwhelming. My heart just aches for them and I still find it difficult to try to wrap my head around why any kind hardships happen--why trials happen to people, especially ones that put their trust in God.

I was thinking about which verse I wanted to have for today, and as I was looking through my Bible, I came across many verses that I had underlined while I was in the hospital on bedrest before Jonathan died. I have a lot of verses in my Bible underlined, but I can tell which ones these are because, since I was lying flat on my side, they are really shaky lines, written in blue. I was amazed at the promises that God gave me, even in the midst of the trial I was going through. He was teaching me about joy, not happiness, but joy throughout whatever was going to come my way.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 is a special one to me,

"Always be joyful. Keep on praying. Not matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

I didn't know what was just about to happen, and after I did, I didn't know how I was supposed to get through it, but I knew I had to have joy and really make a point to be thankful for what I did have. I don't know if this makes sense, but it does to me in my heart. As much as I wish I could change the things that have happened to me, I am thankful that God has carried me through. I am thankful that my baby didn't have to suffer with health issues usually associated with being born that young--even though I would have been there for every one had he lived. I am thankful for the love of my husband, family, and friends through it all. I choose to let God fill my life with joy--it is the only way I know how to get through each day!

1 comment:

Cristina said...

I know it's hard to be joyful when times are hard, but we do have to remember how blessed we are to have the things that we do have. In other words, I agree with you friend! Talk to you later! Twelve more days..... what time is your appointment on the 17th?