December 29, 2008

Not the news I wanted...

Justin and I had a great Christmas--we drove up to Tulsa and surprised his parents. A post all about our Christmas week's events with pictures will come later. I'm not really up for posting today.

Got the news this morning--not pregnant. I just don't get it--I know God has promised that we will become parents. It is just so hard being patient. So now we have to wait another month before we can do fertility shots again. We've been trying three months short of 5 years, with countless unsuccessful clomid cycles, 3 fertility shot cycles, 3 miscarriages, and one baby stillborn. I never imagined that the thing I have always wanted most in life, to be a mom, would be this hard and agonizing. I know God has a plan for us--I do trust Him. It is just so hard to be going through all this when it seems that just about everyone around me doesn't have any problems having children. I know that many others are struggling as well, and I would never, ever wish this on anyone, but it still hurts deep inside, even when I am genuinely happy for them.

I promise I will have a much better post soon. I'm not going to let myself be down in the dumps for too long.

16 comments:

Lianna Knight said...

Praying for you....keep the faith and know that He has a plan for you...the perfect plan.

Danielle said...

Alyson,
Sorry to hear the news but continue trusting in HIM. He will provide on HIS time. HIS plan for your lives is perfect. Praying for you guys!

amy (metz) walker said...

Since we talked last night on the phone, I already knew you were going to post this...but it didn't make it any easier to read.

I hate to know that you have another month to wait for more answers and another chance...I'm so sorry!

Cristina said...

Hey my friend,
I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is going to happen for you. We are still praying for you.

Riley Kai said...

Praying for you...body, mind and soul!

Monica @ Writer Chic said...

Praying for you, Alyson.

Twice as Nice said...

I certainly don't mean to be nosey or out of line but I was wondering if you have ever been to this blog http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/ She struggled for years too and now she is due in Jan. She has a prayer line and a lot of the girls have gotten pregnant. If you don't know her take a peek and just check out her blog and all the prayers.

Michelle Harmon said...

I love you Alyson. My heart hurts for you. I don't understand either. I am praying for you and Justin. Please call me if you need anything. I want you to have your time, but if you need me to come over and cheer you up, I would be there in a heartbeat.

Tena said...

Crying in your sadness,
Rejoicing in your faith,
Waiting patiently for Him to share His plan,
Hoping for the future,
Loving you on your journey.
Sending love and prayers to you!

The Crouch Family said...

Hi Alyson,
I was reading your update today and I know exactly how you feel. I hope you remember me from my last comment. I think we have mutual friends. It took us a little over 4 yrs to conceive after we opted to do embryo adoption. (You can read about some of our struggle in our blog...go to the oldest posts.) While I knew God had/has a plan and the perfect plan just for me, it still hurt so very much. Looking back now, even though that was the most painful time in my life, I know it served a very important purpose and grew me closer to Him. Hold close to your faith. God will never allow more than you can handle. I will keep praying for you. Sending you a hug today.

TN Bakers said...

I love you and am proud of you, Aly. No matter how difficult it gets you still cling to the Lord and proclaim His faithfulness in your lives. we are still praying again for next month.

Jenny Brannan said...

Al, I'm so sorry to hear that. My heart aches for you and Justin. Jeff and I are praying for you through this time! Jesus loves you and so do we!!! Three!

Jessica said...

I love you Aly!! You are so amazing...hang in there!!

Shannon said...

I'm so sorry about your news. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Natali said...

I just saw this, I'm so sorry. I was hoping that you would receive a Christmas blessing too, so much!

I don't know why God says wait sometimes, but I sure look forward to seeing the amazing things he has in store for you two.

One question, have they ever tried Femara with you vs. Clomid?

Alyson said...

I am sorry, I will continue to pray.
Alyson